El Salvador, December 15, 2021- January 4, 2022

The Beginning 

The beginning was hard, since it’s the beginning, it has always been hard. It’s hard because it’s so pretty yet out of touch, because what’s so close is also so real and what’s so real. I can’t comprehend. 

I’d like to

I’d like to think what’s good is good, and most things are good. Thanks to the lack of knowledge, ignorance is replaced by curiosity. Sometimes. It’s healthier to move, and just keep moving. Pretending you didn’t hear, walk straight, poker face, cover the camera with jackets, looking confident. “Speak like you know Spanish so people won’t suspect, speak like you know what you are talking about” That’s the voice in my head. 

I’d like to think they are only in my head, and maybe I’m just overly paranoid. 

I’d like to think maybe it’s just me who’s overly paranoid.

I’d like to wish it’s just me who’s overly paranoid. 

Language

The language is what has caused parts of uncomfortability. The non-comprehensible part, but then there’s also the part that can be understood. The part about being.

Humans

Connections that are beyond language, beyond usual terms, a connection of truth, trust, and simple kindness. Going back to what’s real.

What’s real isn’t necessarily just restaurants, food, food making, more food, motorbikes, Christmas trees, cars, cars under-balcony, cars on the road, parked cars, traffics, traffics in the day, traffics at night, traffics in language, traffics in the heart. 

The Heart

The heart is an open door with multiple unexpected telegraph poles on the side. And maybe people hanging out just sitting by the doorway, and a lot of strangers passing by. A lot of strangers. The ones who sound serious but to have the tenderness that could swallow up the whole world, the ones who are kind. They are the cotton candies or the cotton candy salespeople by the doorway. 

Food

The foundation of connection. A communion that surpasses words. It’s about sharing a good time, sharing moments, sharing the sensation that is temporary, and because the joy is temporary, we learn to cherish it more. And because we are humans, we want to keep what’s good forever. 

Forever

I want to keep forever, that’s why I do photos in the first place. I am always scared of losing. Losing what’s so good about the moment, which is everything, yet nothing, because what’s gone is gone. Sometimes it takes courage, to pick up what’s valuable, to be stared at and to stare back, to let the eyes meet the eyes, instead of hiding behind the lens. And that’s when a moment has truly been captured: when curiosity meets courage when eyes meet eyes. 

And then we go back to the people, the beloved people, the universal theme of love, the who has always been the center of attention, the cause of repetition, the one, and the multiples, the passing, the stays. The old man who wear a Jesus t-shirt passed by the girl looking similar age with me on Livestream for the news. The ones who wonder if the world is their world, and the ones who wonder as if their world is the world. I feel far, yet apart. 

What a privilege to love from the far. I feel far, but also a part in a strange way. As if I know them by heart, those shoppers and shopkeepers by the street, or anybody who also likes to sing, dance, and get drunk. I feel I’ve lived with them, shared a home with their family’s family. Being held hands smiled at, and a rare hug or kisses during the time of covid. How lucky to be connected enough, we are connected enough. 

Thank you, and happy new year. 

Exhibition at Casa Bruja in San Salvador on January 2, 2022